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… it is tough being a pfdj supporter these days… DIA is hardly in the media and this means you goons (sorry I mean guys… oh yeah and gals) haven’t had a fresh supply of terms and phrases that were gleaned from dismembered philosophical takes and then bastardised to give that sense that DIA knows something that the rest of the world will catch up on one day…. Meanwhile you lot would just repeat them meaningless terms to make it look like you know… you understand and you agree…. Remember bilkena?

 

To make matters worse Monkey has been somewhat off colour… his bad luck started in Veldhoven last Good Friday… and bad fortune seems to follow him everywhere from…Rome.. to NYC to Akria!…. And so the woozy feel-good words that filled your telly tubby shirts with ‘patriotic zeal’ have been echoing rather hollow of late…

 

…so here is a short guide to how to respond to on going reality and avoid sounding like the old ladies you force to line up outside Downing Street to shout ‘UN hassadat!’ every time you are lost for words…

 

…it is simple really… all you have to do every morning is decide whether you believe in pfdj or not….if you unfortunately find yourself still believing in pfdj somehow… all you have to do is decide whether you believe in pfdj having a fairy wand and you being a pumpkin and Eritrea a Cinderella… (yes you are absolutely right you have to believe in Ethiopia and Djibouti being the ugly step sisters and the US is the wicked step mother too…. It is imperative to believe all this!)… if you don’t believe all this, life will get complicated! And you will have to try and figure out why the crowd on your side is dwindling…. Or why you are finding it difficult to believe what the cadres keep telling you…. Why you no longer feel the ‘patriotic zeal’ in the mekete meetings (that is before the koboro whips you into mindless-qole-like frenzy that you only snap out of when the 2% bill arrives!). Trust me it is a lot easier to believe in fairy godmothers and pumpkins and wait for something pretty to happen to Cinderella….

 

…if you agree with me in remaining with the fairy story… then all you have to do is wait until your fairy godmother turns you and your fellow pumpkins (I agree… you can even call yourselves…Young Pumpkins for Democracy and Justice!) into an exquisite horse carriage and beautiful horsemen and women and makes Eritrea into a beautiful princess that rides on you into the happy-ever-after!

 

There is nothing to disagree with…. Except of course when you wait… and wait… and wait… for 20 odd years (changing European hotels and t-shirt colours… chanting slogans… and waiting…. Having wilder and wilder frenzies and waiting…. Changing t-shirts again and waiting… worrying that you are running out of bright telly tubby colours and waiting…) and still nothing happens…. Pumpkins are still pumpkins and Cinderella is still in tears and tatters…

 

When that happens you have got two choices…you can either admit that you are a dumb pumpkin and there is no fairy godmother… or you can choose the alternative (lets call it option two for ease of reference)…. If you choose option two, you can either blame people like me for jinxing the fairy godmother… but then you will have to first admit that we are stronger than the fairy godmother which is a big NO! (besides we are not even in the story right? The opposition doesn’t even exist does it?)… so you will have to blame the ugly step sisters (please scroll up to remind yourself who these are!) but you don’t want them either because that will also mean they are stronger than your fairy godmother… so you blame the US but then you need to find a reason why…. That is when you really, really, really… need to decide whether you are a human or a pumpkin… if you are a human being then you will need to really think about what Sophie et.al. keep telling you about us being: ‘a bad example of a good example…’ (I laugh every time I read it… and I wish I could be present in one of your mekete meetings to watch how many of you actually keep a straight face and eye contact when they tell you that!)… if you are a pumpkin then you have no problem at all just carry on waiting for your fairy godmother to turn you into a beautiful horse carriage and handsome horsemen (and women!)… we promise we will be here waiting without blinking an eye until midnight… after midnight there is no point as even if you had become a handsome horsemen (and women) you will revert back into a pumpkin so there would be no point…. Now do you still believe that you are a pumpkin and pfdj is your fairy godmother?